Being a father is perhaps the most beautiful status in life.It makes you feel like the master of the universe. There are many people around you who respect and trust you.You are the first love or hero of your children According to your family, what you do is true, they accept what you do, you do not do wrong.
When do father-to-father begin to feel paternity like mothers?
Being a father is a feeling that is more difficult to adapt than being a mother. The feelings of paternity are not instinctive and hormonal like motherhood. Therefore, to be a father requires emotional preparation. The expectant mothers are more fortunate than the father with their hormones acting from the moment they intend to think about motherhood, pregnancy and baby. During pregnancy, hormones secreted in the body prepare women step by step for motherhood. Fathers have to do more in this regard than mothers. For example, when the baby is 6 months old, the communication between the mother and the baby fits in order. However, it is seen that this acclimation process in males is extended to 18 months.
The realization of the mother and father by planning to have a child helps them to be emotionally ready for being a mother and father.
What should be done during the pregnancy of his wife? Instead of acting like an outside audience, how should he understand it?
We now see that men increasingly desire to support their husbands’ pregnancy.
During pregnancy, women, physical and hormonal changes caused by the hormones created by the environment and especially expects an intense understanding from his wife. In order to find out what is going on during the pregnancy as a prospective father and to support her husband more during her pregnancy, she should go to the doctor’s checks together. Especially on the examination day when the baby’s first heartbeat is heard or to see the baby on ultrasound, the joy of the presence of the spouses together will increase the proximity of the spouses.
The greatest need of a woman during pregnancy is to meet the feeling of love and trust. Spouses should be sensitive to the changing feelings of hormones created by the expectant mother and should be understanding.
Candidates should attend prenatal courses with the mother, if possible. During the course, fathers have the opportunity to get to know the mother and her baby more closely. They perceive their feelings and change better. As a family, they can begin to speak a common language and support each other. They can apply the techniques they have learned and live together at every stage of the birth, if they wish.
If this is not possible, they can read and watch informative publications on pregnancy, birth and child development together with the mother. They should work together to prepare for this process that will change the rhythm of their lives.
When shopping to meet the baby’s first needs, men should be with the mother and not leave her alone.
Spouses should share their feelings with each other more frequently during this period. They should be able to dream about their children as well as express their fears and worries. Sometimes men may feel left out in the process. He must share his fears of exclusion and solitude with his spouses.
What are the benefits of being a father?
The responsibility of a baby who will start his life journey without any protection and guidance other than his parents is the biggest, most sacred, the most exciting and the heaviest responsibility to be taken in life. On the other hand, it is a great pleasure and privilege to be with all the physical, mental and emotional needs of children. However, in order to respond adequately to the needs of the baby, it also requires the parent to meet his / her needs to a minimum. The responsibility of being a father pushes one into an effort to get to know himself better as a father, to develop himself and to expand his spiritual strength. He leads the father to become more and more mature. In addition, the feeling of being the father of a baby and the wife of a woman who is a mother makes a man stronger in life and adds new meaning to the man’s posture.
Can you talk about the role of father for children?
The family triangle has a mother on one leg and a father on one leg. The child feels safe with the presence of two legs of this triangle. On the other hand, the sense of trust is very effective in the development of the personality and healthy development of the child. When the father is not active enough in the child’s life, the triangle is broken and the child’s sense of trust is lacking.
Since the first months, babies who grow up with close care and care of their fathers are more willing to communicate with their environment because they provide satisfaction in terms of love and trust, and have more responsibility in older ages. It is also known that father’s interest is an important factor in children’s mental development and academic achievement.
At the same time, as the mother nurtures and represents the inner world of a child, the father is the representative of the outer world for the child. The stance of the father in social life, his attitude, and the attitudes that the child takes as an example.
How should a man be psychologically prepared to be a father?
In order for a man to be ready to be a father, he must first have a smooth, harmonious union. Because the child brings a serious burden and responsibility. Such a responsibility can only be lifted by a solid foundation.
Be prepared to be a father, while the baby is still in the womb. The father, who touches the mother’s belly and speaks with the baby, feels the presence of the father in the baby while strengthening the bond against the child to be born. Because babies can detect and respond to different sounds even in the womb.
After birth, just like the mother, the father has to make physical contact with the child in order to establish an emotional relationship with the child. He should love the baby from time to time, take out his gas and help him relax, and have enthusiastic conversations with him. Reassuring him every time, he should address him with a compassionate voice that will soothe him. Moral support and support
One of the best ways to get used to fatherhood is to make room for the baby in his mind and heart by dreaming. Imagining themselves playing with their child, teaching them how to ride a bike, going on holiday, or telling them what they have learned from their father may be a rehearsal of what they will do with their children in the future. It makes it easier to feel the warmth of being a family by having your wife participate in these dreams.
Can you tell us the content of being a father?
Being a father is often less expressed than being a mother. For many, the child thinks that the mother’s life will be completely affected. The relationship established with the child is usually in the foreground while the father is behind. However, the role of the father in the child’s life is as important as the mother.
It is very important that fathers communicate with their children, allocate time for them and share life with them.
The father should be able to give love to his child. Family relations, where this emotion is to be experienced, must include love. Spouses’ attitudes towards each other, sharing love and happiness will be the first step.
The father should be with the child in every kind of situation and make him feel his presence. The child should be able to reach his father easily.
The father should be able to support his child. Emotional support is the most needed type of support, financial support may vary from family to family.
The father should be tolerant to his child. When necessary, the child should be able to understand the deficiencies and errors caused by the child.
Be able to share common pleasures with her child. There should be cultural or individual pleasures that the father can share with his child, whether he or she is a boy or a child. Be able to have a pleasant and pleasant time together.
It should be able to facilitate the life of the child. The child should endeavor to cope with all kinds of difficulties and difficult situations to be faced and produce solutions.
What are your suggestions to be a father and a father?
Fathers should not force themselves to say ım I will be perfect öncelikle. Especially if you are having a baby for the first time, it is natural to be inexperienced. As a father, he must live without fear of anxiety and changes in emotions.
Candidates should go to the doctor with their spouse during birth control. In this way, they can find the opportunity to closely monitor the health and development of his wife and baby.
Talking to other fathers in the family and listening to what they’re going through can help them get used to paternity. So he should take the time to talk to other fathers. Sharing concerns and fears can be diminished by the suggestions of a father who experiences the same feelings.
By Exp. Psychologist Yüksel Artar